A few weeks ago, I met my future self.
Long story short, I’ve got RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) and have since I was 24. After 4 major surgeries in the last 6 years, I spend a decent amount of time in Physical Therapy.
Having a debilitating disease from such a young age, I’ve had to wrap my mind around the fact that I may end up in a wheelchair before I’m actually “old.”
I’ve come to accept it and now joke about the awesome donuts I’ll be able to do in the driveway with my future grandkids in my future motorized wheelchair. (They’ll be SICK, I’m sure.)
Meeting My Future Self
A few weeks ago in PT, I met my future self.
She was an awesome lady who had just turned 60 and recently returned from a birthday trip to Bora Bora with her best friend.
She was so full of energy and joy. She was also recovering from her 2nd full knee replacement.
We started talking because, at the ripe ol’ age of 36, I’ve had both of my knees replaced too.
She told me she was diagnosed with RA when she was 25. She has since had both shoulders, both hips, both ankles, and now both knees replaced over the years.
But she’s still doing exactly what she wants in life!
Along with her beautiful smile, she also had some great bits of advice for me as I age with RA.
And I think they are great advice for everyone, so I wanted to share:
Keep Doing What You Love
Keep doing what you love. Here was a 60 years young lady with a body full of metal and she had just gotten back from a 3 week trip to Bora Bora.
“RA causes pain and sucks, yes, but don’t let it stop you from what you really want to do.”
This can be said of many things in life:
- Disabilities
- Depression
- Stress
- Supporting a Family
There are always going to be things that make life hard.
But don’t let them stop you from doing the things you really want to do.
- Acknowledge the suck.
- Figure out what you can do to limit/fix the suck.
- And take action to do what you really want to do!
Figure out what makes life worth living and never let the suck prevent you from doing it.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People
This wonderful woman was happily divorced.
She told me that after she was diagnosed with RA at just 25 and had a young child, her husband at the time just didn’t understand.
He was not empathetic to her new situation and just caused her more stress and pain. They finally split and she said she was never happier.
She was in the military and far from family but found neighbors, co-workers, and friends that became her support group.
They helped cook meals for her and her kid when she wasn’t feeling up to it. They picked her up from surgeries and took her son to school.
After shedding the bad relationship with her former husband, she was able to build the strong bonds she really needed.
When going through something like RA, it is so important to surround yourself with supportive people. I am thankful every day for my wonderful husband, kids, family, and friends.
Even if you don’t have a debilitating disease, it is important to get rid of the people that cause you undue hardship and surround yourself with those who really want the best for you.
I love this story of Kevan Chandler and his amazing friends.
Plan For The Future
Planning for the future can be both fun and/or morbid.
I am so passionate about personal finance and saving money, in part, because I have RA.
- Mr. Bean and I want to be able to enjoy all the time we have together. In order to do that the best way we can, we would like him to be able to retire early. That’s why we are pushing so hard to reach Financial Independence.
- If something were to happen to me, (I get put under anesthesia quite a bit) I want to know that Mr. Bean and the kids are going to be ok, financially, without me.
- If something happens to Mr. Bean and I am physically unable to take care of myself in the future, or worse, him, I want to know that we have the financial resources needed to ensure we can get the care we need.
Planning for the future allows me to enjoy the present that much more.
Having our Retirement Funds and Expected Expenses fully financed, lets us enjoy the money and time we have now, without the worries of What If in the future.
Always Do Your Exercises
Of course, “always do your exercises” is the main takeaway from a fellow PT patient.
Especially with RA, the body likes to say “I’m sore/tired, let’s just not do ANYTHING.”
While this can be a nice way to spend an occasional Saturday afternoon, or in my case, an RA flare, it is not a good way to spend your whole life.
Get up and move!
Stretch!
Lift!
Walk/Cardio!
Keep your body in working order so that you can use it for as long as possible.
I may not be able to compete in a marathon or go on a week-long bike trip anymore, but I still enjoy being able to take my kids on a short walk and climbing the bleachers at their events.
Keep a Positive Attitude
I have always tried to have a positive attitude. And meeting my future self has confirmed just how important that is.
Having a debilitating disease can often cause all sorts of depression.
There are so many things I want to be able to do, but physically, just can’t. (Like jump or get off the floor without some sort of assistance)
You can begin to feel useless. Like a burden to those around you.
But allowing yourself to think like that just makes things worse.
Instead of crying myself to sleep every night, I try to think of all the funny things we get to experience.
(My trying to get over the wall at the beach on a recent staycation was hilarious! Mr. Bean literally had to lift me off, I couldn’t stop laughing at my stuckness!)
Don’t get frustrated. Just laugh and do what you can with the people you love.
Wrap-Up
As I’m preparing to go get an MRI next week, most likely telling me I will need a full shoulder replacement in the next few months, I am so happy that I met my future self a few weeks back.
Her positive attitude and life tips forced me out of any dark places and filled me with a new passion for life!
Just keep on doing what you’re doing and enjoy it all as much as you can.
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