Chores are the everyday little things required to keep life going. From Washing dishes and cleaning the bathroom to making dinner or folding clothes.
We often think of chores as annoying things in life we just have to do.
After a July filled with birthday parties, family vacations, and visiting relatives, our house has started to look like one big “Drop Zone.”
“Throw it in the corner, for now, we can deal with it later!”
I was trying to pump myself up and get in a cleaning mood. While cruising the library app, I saw the book “How to Keep House While Drowning” by KC Davis, LPC.
From the title, I figured it was another “How to be a Super Mom” type book with tips and tricks for cleaning between soccer practice and bedtime. So I reserved it.
But it wasn’t a super mom book at all. In fact, it was the opposite.
KC wrote the book specifically for people who are potentially experiencing mental, emotional, or physical difficulties. From individuals with ADHD to postpartum depression, PTSD, or autoimmune diseases.
She talks about kindness towards oneself. And I think we should all adopt it more. Here are some of the top tips that I felt really resonated with me:
Your Home Should Work For You, Not The Other Way Around
If you are constantly stressed and overworked, trying to keep your house picture perfect, you are working for your house.
- Maybe you had a filthy house growing up and never want to experience that again
- Perhaps your partner has super high cleanliness standards that you feel you can never live up to
- Or a nit-picky mom or mother-in-law who is always judging your cleaning skills
More often than not, our constant need to have an Instagram-worthy house is motivated by external factors. Not what we truly want or need ourselves.
Avoid constantly working to keep your house spotless. Figure out ways to make your home work for you.
Listen to Your Stuff
If you constantly have toddlers or post-practice teens dumping laundry in the dining room, instead of getting frustrated by the mess, throw a laundry basket in the dining room.
It may sound crazy to others, but if it works for your family, go for it.
Find little things that might drive you or your partner crazy and figure out little ways to fix them.
We have a folding wagon to help bring groceries and such from the parking garage to our condo. It’s stored in the walk-in closet. (Why We Love Our Small Home)
It was constantly falling down and made it hard to maneuver in the rest of the closet.
One day, it finally hit me (literally and figuratively), simply hang a Command hook on the wall next to it so we can attach the handle and it won’t fall down anymore!
Simple fixes around the house that may not be Instagram-worthy but if they make your life easier, who cares what anyone else thinks? It’s your house!
Gift Your Future Self With Simple Preparation
Chores suck. No one WANTS to spend your post-dinner hours washing dishes. No one WANTS to pick up the living room before going off to bed after a hard day.
Instead of thinking of these types of actions as chores, think of them as a gift to your future self.
The author, KC, spoke of how, after long days with 2 kids under 4, she would just want to go to bed once the kids were asleep. But in the morning, the kitchen would be a mess. There were no bottles or milk cups for the kids and it made her mornings so much harder.
On Sundays, her husband would take the morning shift with the kids so she could sleep in. She started doing a basic kitchen clean-up on Saturday evenings so that HIS morning could go more smoothly the next day.
She slowly realized that SHE should have easier mornings too! Why should HE get clean bottles and countertops to make breakfast with and not HER?
KC began forming an “Evening Shut-Down” routine. Each night, she would ensure bottles and sippy cups were cleaned. If she had enough energy, she’d fill the dishwasher and wipe down the countertops too.
The few simple actions the night before, made her mornings go so much smoother. It was a gift to her future self.
Little Gifts I Like To Give Myself
- Each night, I load and run the dishwasher- I like having clean dishes and a clear counter to prepare breakfast
- If the kids have school the next day, we make lunches and fill water bottles the night before. There’s no need to rush to make them in the morning.
- Each day, the kids and I try to pick up all the toys, crafts, and stuff from the day before Mr. Bean gets home from work at 3:30 pm. It makes it easier to walk around and use the space to be together in the second part of our day.
- I try to build a super basic meal plan each week. By having a short list of possible dinners to prepare, with ingredients on hand, I can throw dinner together much quicker during late activity nights.
Make Cleaning Fun
When it comes to cleaning tasks that you know need to be done but don’t really need to be done now, it can be easy to put them off indefinitely.
Things like cleaning the bathroom. Organizing your bedroom. Vacuuming. Or scrubbing the kitchen cupboards are all things that should be done, but don’t really affect your everyday life.
For things like this, I:
- Write out a quick list of things that need to be done
- Round up the kids to divvy out tasks
- Throw on some upbeat music- as loud as civilly possible
- And get as many things done as possible in a given amount of time
Sometimes we “rock out clean” for 5 minutes, 30 minutes, or an hour. It all depends on how much time and energy we have and what needs to get done.
By putting on some fun music and setting a time limit on the cleaning, it’s easier to jump in a just get it done.
Then we celebrate a job well done by heading to the park or watching a movie with a big bowl of popcorn!
Give Yourself Grace and Rest When You Need It
Doing “evening shut-down” duties each day to gift your future self with an easier morning is wonderful! It keeps life moving and prevents future headaches.
But you have to remember that gifts should be welcome blessings, not required demands.
Although gifts to your future self are great, sometimes you also need to gift your present self with rest.
I try to remember this myself. With my RA (rheumatoid arthritis), some nights my body is just DONE.
Maybe I took the kids to the beach for a little bit too long. Or had an errand-filled day. Whatever it was, somedays, my body just tells me, “that’s all I can do today.”
Over the years, I have learned that I need to listen to my body when it says it’s time to rest, or else it will not cooperate with me the next day, or week.
On days like this, I will not do the dishes. We might just have leftovers or even cereal for dinner.
If the kids or Mr. Bean are still going strong, they step up to help. But some nights, we are all just worn down and need to rest tonight to enjoy the next day.
When your body says it’s time to rest, forget the chores and cleaning. Take a hot shower, snuggle up or stretch. And just rest.
Wrap-Up
We did eventually find the living room floor under all our July drop-zone mess. With some fun music and teamwork, things got put away and space was once again free for handstands and cartwheels.
After reading KC’s book, I am able to push down the guilt that can pop up from a messy house. As she states, mess and cleanliness are neutral. They are neither morally right nor morally wrong. They just are.
And it’s up to us to decide how much cleaning is important to live our best life.
How do you feel about cleaning? Do you find things easier in piles strewn around the room? Or are you a queen (or king) of clean?
Let me know in the comments below.
Also, check out my post on How to Beat the Mess
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