I saw an article the other day about living a soft life. It is a take on the “quiet quitting” trend that is going around the media.
In quiet quitting, people mentally disconnect from their job and just do minimum work to keep their job. This can be bad for workers and for companies. But it can also be good if done with the right intentions.
No one wants to be a slave to their job. Working ridiculous hours, never feeling “off” during night and weekend hours thanks to a constant stream of phone calls and emails.
While quiet quitting is a rather extreme way of saying no to overworking yourself, another new term, soft living, seems more accurate. Mr. Bean and I have our own spin on it. We try to minimize unnecessary stressors in life to maximize living. Here’s my take on it:
What Is Soft Living?
Soft living, to me, is building a “just right” life. Not too much, not too little, but just the right amount of pleasure and pressure.
Soft Life- Work
Some people love their job. They’d work it all day, every day if they could.
Others hate their job.
Trying to live a soft life, is all about finding a balance.
For some people, a balance may mean finding a job that they love and can spend as much time as they comfortably want doing it. For others, it might mean finding a low-stress “boring job” with predictable hours and lots of time off.
Others still prefer full freedom of their time. They might choose to work only when they need money. A freelance situation allows them to take off when they want and work when their bank account gets low.
Soft Life- Rightsize Housing
The “American Dream” is all about buying the biggest house possible, with the biggest yard possible. Often, this includes the biggest mortgage possible. People have spent the last few decades purchasing McMansions in the suburbs only to realize, that amount of house is a lot of work and money.
5,000 square foot homes allow for everyone to have their own space, yes, but man that’s a lot of vacuuming, dusting, and maintenance to do.
All those rooms need furniture too. That’s more money.
Huge yards need to be maintained. That’s hours out of your week cutting grass or even more money to pay someone else to do it.
If that huge house really brings you joy, that’s awesome. But if you would rather spend your weekends relaxing, out on the town, or even traveling, that huge house might not be the best fit for you.
We love our small home. Four people fit into just over 700 square feet of space. We’ll probably want another bedroom in the future but it allows us to keep our living expenses down and cleaning time to a minimum.
But even small homes can go too far. Trying to fit a family of 5 in a tiny home might be cost-efficient, but the constant need to mop muddy floors and put everything away “just so” to ensure tiny storage compartments can close would definitely be too much stress for me.
Soft living is all about rightsizing your life. Figure out how much home you actually need to be happy.
Soft Life- Pets
I have a family member who has a shite-ton of animals. (My super exact measurement)
5+ cows, 5+ horses, 5+ dogs, 5+ cats, 10+ rabbits at one point, some ducks, and a beta fish just for good measure.
They love their animals but man are they a lot of work. And cost. (The True Cost of a Pet)
Between food and medical bills, they spend hundreds of dollars a month just to care for pets.
Because of the amount of care required to keep them all fed and happy, they can never take the whole family on vacation at the same time. Someone needs to stay back to care for the animals.
Pets provide lots of love and friendship, which is great for stress reduction. But having too many pets can actually cause more stress in your life.
Figure out how many and what types of pets are best for you.
If you travel or want to travel, all the time, it might be best to not have any pets. Or just have a few easy-to-care-for pets that you could easily hire a pet sitter for or put in a kennel. Maybe even a small dog that could ride on planes with you.
Let your pets bring you joy. Rightsize your pets.
Soft Life- Kids
How many kids a person has is a touchy subject as of late. The birth rates in many countries have dropped. Modern science ensures more babies live to adulthood so the need to have multiple children to up the chances of some making it to adulthood has dropped. With fewer families running farms, large families are no longer necessary to tend the farm.
More couples are realizing the cost of raising children. The negative news world constantly plays, increasing the worry of raising children in the current world state. Many people are choosing to stay single and childless or DINKS (Dual Income No Kids).
This lack of kids is a major concern for economists. People in younger generations pay into social security for older generations. Without enough babies, who’s going to take care of the old folks?
But in reality, rightsizing your family is one of the best ways to live a soft life.
Kids are expensive and stressful. But they are also one of the biggest blessings a loving parent can have.
RIghtsize Your Family
Figure out how many children you and your partner are comfortable having, then stop when you reach that number.
I know families with 6+ kids and both parents absolutely love it. But I know a lot more families who have too many kids. (Too many totally depends on the person and their life situation.)
Already over-stressed military moms whose husbands are constantly being shipped out, end up pregnant AGAIN when he returns. They can only muster so much joy as they feel the stress of yet another baby upon them.
Think long and hard about how many children you actually want. When you reach that number, do everything you can to prevent another “surprise.”
Remember, married folks can use condoms too. It is totally acceptable. And helps prevent those little “surprises” when other forms of birth control are sketchy for one reason or another.
Minimize Environmental Stressors
Your living environment can have a huge effect on your life. Disrespectful roommates, unreasonable family members, or scary neighbors can all create negative feelings about life in general.
While trying to reach financial independence, many of us try to minimize our living expenses in any way we can. But sometimes, spending just a little bit more can make a huge improvement to your mental state.
Living with family to save on housing expenses can be great for your pocketbook. But overbearing parents who treat you like a teenager, even though you’re in your late 20s, can become too much. Save up, pay off any debt, and spend the extra money to get your own place.
An abusive spouse or partner can also have a huge impact. Get counseling, if necessary, and work on your finances to ensure you can move towards a better life if needed. (SAHM, Take Control of Your Finances)
Figure out where exterior stressors are seeping into your life and work on ways to change it for the better.
We made a significant change in our living arrangements a few years back. It increased our living expenses by over $1,500/month but the more positive environment helped both my mental and physical health exponentially.
Build a Soft Life Through Financial Stability
One of the best ways to decrease stress and increase living is to get your finances in order:
- Build a Budget to prevent overspending
- Increase Your Income to a Sustainable Level
- Build an Emergency Fund
- Pay Off Any Debt
- Fund your Expected Expenses
- Save for Retirement
By following the Path to Wealth and taking control of your finances, you will minimize your stress, allowing you to maximize your life to the right size.
Wrap-Up
Life can get stressful. Decide what you want your life to be and take control.
Get rid of the excess, increase the necessary, and right-size your own soft life.
What do you think? How have you built your “just right” life? What do you need to do to create a soft life? Leave a comment below and join the conversation.
Great article! I feel I’ve “right sized” much of my life, but my house is still too large. The tricky part is that my husband HATES moving, loves our house, and doesn’t want to move. So now, I’m trying to settle for just right-sizing the stuff in my house (i.e. there is too much stuff!!!) I need to do a bit of work right-sizing my work life. Hours are decent but still too much for my tastes. Anyway, it’s great to step back and do a little check and balance in this area.
Yes, right-sizing stuff and the daily to-do list is definitely an ongoing battle for us too!
Cheers!