I have a close family member who is in a textbook Midlife Crisis.
He recently turned 60, lost his mom and sister, and his kids are starting to leave the nest. All of a sudden, he wants to quit his job to raise cows, vacation in Thailand, and start racing cars. He doesn’t care about anything anymore and just wants to GO!
His wife is thinking “what the heck! Where did this all come from? We don’t have money for that!”
While I’m over here thinking “that sounds like so much fun! What a wonderful way to spend time together once the kids have gone. IF you have financially planned for it as a couple.”
That last part can make all the difference in deciding if that crucial time in life becomes a “crisis” or just plain “changing it up and having fun.”
What Causes A Midlife Crisis?
A Midlife Crisis is often triggered by some stressor or moment of tension leading to concerns over aging, a loss of life purpose, or a fear of death.
For a lot of people, this can be something as ordinary as the kids growing up and moving out. This can cause a loss of purpose for many parents.
Other causes can be a loss of a job or even just getting tired of a job they’ve had for a long time. They may no longer feel like they’re doing what they’re meant to.
Or a trigger could be something big, like the death of a loved one. This can send people into a feeling of loss or the fear of death itself.
When triggers like these happen, people often feel they need to pull a full 180 on their life, or at least make big changes and add excitement!
If you are living paycheck to paycheck, this change can cause even more stressors, especially for an unaware spouse. But if you have built a strong financial base and have worked towards financial independence, it can become one of the best times of your life.
Make Building a Strong Financial Base A Priority NOW
Living paycheck to paycheck is hard on anyone, but if your lack of money is a potential reason for a midlife crisis, start figuring out what you need to do now.
Sometimes, achieving these financial building blocks can require some big changes:
- Maybe you need to earn some extra income by getting a side hustle, taking on some overtime, or even changing jobs to get higher pay.
- Ensure you are not spending needlessly: cut out unnecessarily high bills and find high quality/less expensive alternatives like cell phone, cable, or memberships
- Moving or renting out a portion of your home with house hacking may cut down your bills drastically enough to make a big change in your finances
Making a few sacrifices in your younger years so that you can build a strong financial base can ensure your later years are much more stable.
And if you still want to make some money in your later years, there are plenty of online jobs for seniors to earn money.
What Are Your Dreams? Discuss Them With Your Partner
Have you always wanted to learn to fly a plane? Maybe you didn’t want to be a pilot as a career, but you’d love to get your pilot’s license and go out on a small plane a few times a year.
Or maybe you’ve always wanted to see Paris. It has never fit into the budget or schedule with 3 kids at home, but you’d adore eating a croissant under the Eiffel Tower.
Picture your dreams and discuss them with your spouse. Dream together. Maybe you can’t fit them in RIGHT NOW, but if you work together, you can plan and save up for them together.
Working together towards a dream can help couples feel closer. And two people working towards a shared goal is always better than one person secretly wishing while the other goes in a completely different direction. That’s when people snap and those hopes and dreams come out as a midlife crisis.
Our Mid-Life Dreams
Mr. Bean would love to have a little sports car. It just doesn’t make sense to our family right now with 2 kids and him needing to drive to work every day. But we are both aware that it’s his dream. We are both putting money away for it so that as soon as the kids are on their own, we can get a 2 seater to cruise together to his heart’s content.
I would love to slow-travel across the country and certain parts of the world. Mr. Bean’s job currently holds us in one place, but we both know it is my dream. We are working towards financial independence as fast as possible. Once we are able to afford not having Mr. Bean work every day (through passive income and/or investments) we can plan to take off and slow travel. Maybe even in his sports car. (Or maybe towed behind us for the long drives, my sore bones can’t handle a 500-mile drive “feeling the road.” 😉 )
What Are Your Midlife Dreams And How Can You Prevent A Midlife Crisis?
Take a moment to evaluate your life now and how you want it to be in the future.
- Do you enjoy your job, even if it’s boring? Or do you need to make a move?
- Can you afford your lifestyle and save for your future? What changes can you make to reach your dreams?
- Are you spending enough time with your spouse and kids? Do you want to change your schedule?
- Do you feel healthy and energetic? You won’t get to enjoy your midlife much if your body says no. Make sure to schedule downtime into your day. Exercise. Join a social group you enjoy. Drink more water. Focus on self-care now so that you are able to enjoy your now and your future.
Notice what is happening in your life today and start to make any necessary changes now. Sure you might not be able to buy that sports car right now and drive down the California Coast, but you can put a few dollars away for it in the future and take a few hours off work this Friday to drive your current car along the nearest river bank. Take time to do the things you enjoy now while also planning for your dream.
Wrap-Up
A midlife crisis can happen to anyone, but how you plan for it makes all the difference. Get your finances in order, now. Keep your relationships strong, now. Be healthy, now. Take care of yourself now and hopefully, you won’t have too much to crisis over in the future. Just live your midlife dream.
What do you think? Can a midlife crisis be averted by planning ahead? Do you have experience with a midlife crisis? Leave a comment below and join the conversation.
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